Day Dreaming

Some days I like to just sit back and stare off into nothingness. Get lost in my own mind, lost in thought. Many things can cause my mind to wander: mood, type of day, holidays, seeing a good looking man. You know, anything.

When I am stressed, I tend to be lost in worry. Which causes me to be more stressed.

When I am happy, I tend to be lost in happy thoughts. My children. Friends. Family. A really good movie I happen to have watched around that time.

Sometimes I like to daydream about things that could happen… or might happen. Or daydream about silly things, like having a starring role in a movie or TV show. Daydream about what it might be like to be a doctor or police officer. It varies.

I don’t get completely lost in my mind. It usually only lasts for a few moments or when I am going to sleep at night. Daydream something good in hopes that I will have pleasant, happy dreams at night.

I know people daydream, but I sometimes wonder if I just take it to the extreme. I don’t believe my daydreams are real; I won’t believe I am a doctor and attempt surgery on someone. Just in case any internet shrinks want to shrink my mind. I guess… I just have an active imagination.

I wish I had the patience to sit down and write out the stories I might daydream. They can be fairly good. Or at least I think so. But everytime I try, I just get bored or lose my train of thought. It’s annoying.

Maybe someday I will train my mind and fingers to work together nicely.

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Rainbow Stickers

95% of my Facebook newsfeed is littered with news articles, news pictures, news clippings. While I understand that people like to keep on current events, I can’t say I do so much. Yes, I have heard about the earthquake in Nepal, the riots and looting in Baltimore, and the water crisis in California. I’ve heard about all the shootings and stabbings and robbings and muggings and whatever else over the past few months. I have not turned off my ears. I just don’t actively seek out news articles or report clippings.

It’s nothing new. For most of my life I have been like this. It’s not that I don’t want to hear about the stories — okay, maybe it is. I have this stupid set mind where if I hear about something bad, whether it’s a drunk driving accident or a horrible shooting, I cry my eyes out. I don’t even know those that were involved, yet I feel pain upon hearing of their passing or troubles.

Folks who know me think I am just disinterested. It’s not that I am; it’s just that I don’t want to start crying over these events. I like happy stories, but I don’t hear those as often, so I just don’t look.

I still believe there is good in everyone. I am a firm believer of that. Maybe it makes me naive. Until I am given reason not believe someone is good, I will hold onto that small glimmer. I don’t know if that makes me the dumbest person alive or not, but I can’t change who I am.

I recently loaned money to a friend because he claimed he had none for food. I felt bad and didn’t want to starve. This friend is also a heroin addict, and while he claims he is trying to be clean, has relapsed more than once. It took another friend to point out that he probably took the borrowed money and spent it on drugs. I didn’t even think of that possibility. However, I have learned my lesson about all this. No more money will be loaned out to friends, especially friends with drug issues.

So, while I have heard about the recent deaths, I don’t want to read too much into them. I don’t want to feel my heart get sad. I don’t want to mourn the loss of someone I never even met. I want to keep my rather naive view of the world and press on and think happy thoughts. Keep thinking about unicorns and kitties and rainbow stickers.

PS. I title my post after writing it up… which is why it’s called rainbow stickers. It seemed like fun words.

A New World Lost in My Mind

Hi,

I have decided to start up the blogging thing – again. I had an older blog, but I hadn’t written on it in months, possibly years, and decided I wanted to start fresh. Starting fresh is a good thing sometimes, right? Even if it’s small and silly, like a fresh blog.

I don’t really know what the topic of this blog is going to be, honestly. It might be a bunch of random things, depending on my mood. I have a very crazy mind that drifts onto new things constantly. I swear, no one would want to get lost in my mind because the chances of escaping are slim to none. (I just realized I painted myself crazy, but it’s the truth, I am.)

These topics could vary from school work, world news/topics, to parenting. Some of it might be my pet peeves about stuff, and other things can be about praises to people, places, or things. Like I said, it’ll be totally and completely random!

(I also hope to try to do the Daily Prompt thing from WordPress each day. Hopefully that works out!)

I am not a very good writer. Usually because my brain works faster than my fingers and I get frustrated that I am 20 thoughts ahead of what I want to say. And I am horrible with big words, though I might try sometimes!

Here’s some little fun facts about myself:

  • I have two beautiful and amazing children. They are the loves of my life and I would do anything for them, up to and including moving the moon or sun out of their eyes.
  • I am unemployed, which is why I have so much time to write blog posts! (Though, employed people can find time too. Maybe more than me, actually, because I have full-time mommy duties to attend to sometimes.)
  • I’m short.
  • I like cats. I like dogs. I like horses (from afar!). I like birds.
  • My favorite food is cake. My hips could probably tell you that.
  • I got depression problems, so sometimes my blog posts might reflect that and I am sorry in advance.

As for now, that’s all I got. Hopefully people will stop by, read this, and perhaps enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it all. Off to see the wizard now!

Bye!